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Wednesday, April 02, 2008

A Thousand Words

Cruise_photoIt was dress-up night on the cruise ship, and I was regretting the size of my carry-on luggage and wishing I had brought something a little more spectacular to wear, when Mid-Life Rookie offered me her gold shawl to throw over my black dress.

And she did more than that. As we gathered on our last afternoon, MLR and DogBlogger spoke to the group and said they had something for me. Perusing the photos from the formal night, they found this picture of me and wanted me to have it.

I am rarely speechless, as those who spent time with me on the cruise will attest (especially those who fell asleep to the sound of my voice). But in this case, a picture really was worth a thousand words.

(More to come.)

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Mark of Experience

Considering that in the weeks leading up to Easter I managed to weaken my back, arms and hands significantly by overdoing exercise geared to make me stronger, and considering that it made me have to stop and think about what a striver I seem to have become in the middle of my life, you won't be surprised to hear I was prepared to take the program portion of the RevGalBlogPals Big Event seriously.

At the first meeting of the gathered group, our facilitator asked us each to draw a word from a deck of cards she had prepared. I thought of the Angel Cards I keep in a dish in my office and the words I so often draw, particularly "Responsibility." I shuffled the deck intently, determined to be open to whatever word the Spirit would move into my hands, earnest beyond belief.

I took a card and passed the deck along to Ruby, who had been watching me shuffle them so gravely, and I gingerly turned over the one in my hand.

The joke was on me.

My word was "Play."

So if you should hear I got up to shenanigans of one kind and another while off in the Gulf of Mexico, I hope you will remember that I was only following instructions.

tattoo?

And it's only temporary.

(More to follow.)

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Heading South

It was disaster that took me there first, and it is friendship that calls me to return. I'll blog again from St. Casserole's house!

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Be Always Kind and True

At the door to the Best Western in Lawrenceville, Georgia, as some of our airport-bound RevGalBlogPals were leaving Wednesday morning, I began to sing a little song my father taught me, years and years ago:

Sunday School is over, and we are going home.
Goodbye! Goodbye! Be always kind and true.

It somehow came as no surprise when one of my new-found sisters began to sing along on her way out the door.

For two days, a group of women of varied backgrounds and four denominations sat around a table and began the planning for an event that will draw together many more. We found many areas of easy agreement and some of deeply held differences, but in all things we practiced kindness and patience and acceptance of diversity.

I lived in an ecumenical household. My father's family helped found the Methodist Church in town, and that was after founding the Episcopal church years before. My mother's people were Southern Baptist. When we lived in another town for six years, we attended a Presbyterian Church, and I went to an Episcopal school. I am now part of the United Church of Christ. Through all the changes of practice and thought, I like to think I've held to Daddy's little song, to strive to be always kind and true, even when being truthful may also be painful.

I'm grateful for the gathering and for those who made it possible: Questing Parson, who drove all over the universe and forgave me for not finding him at the airport, and reverend mommy, who hosted us at her church despite her recent illness and also managed to find a way for RevAbi to attend the board meeting electronically. I'm grateful also to my RevGalBlogPals who traveled at their own expense to meet together and do this good work. It was my first meeting with Jody of Quotidian Grace and Mary Beth of Terrapin Station, yet we felt comfortable together instantly, I think. I rejoiced at the opportunity to see my dear friends Cheesehead and will smama and St. Casserole. And it was a joy to meet young Natalie, who blogs at Take My Hand. What will the Church Universal be like when she takes her ordination vows someday? Where will we find ourselves? I hope that in the main we will have learned to work together the way our small group did this week, discerning what matters most for God's purposes and leaving our differences to the side wherever we could.

See you at a location to be determined soon, March 27-30, 2008!

Goodbye! Goodbye! Be always kind and true!

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Hey!

After many previous fruitless attempts I am delighted to be on the Internet long enough to wave from Greater Hotlanta, where I am in a Starbucks with St. Casserole, Cheesehead, Quotidian Grace, Mary Beth of Terrapin Station, Questing Parson, Natalie (Take My Hand) and Reverend Mommy. We had a great meeting today and are resting here before dinner. Will Smama joined us and will be back with us tomorrow.

We are having fun!

When you realize a Starbucks biscotti costs as many points as a baked potato, you think twice about having one.

Best moment: When St. Casserole was asked for her name at the counter, she said "Sweetheart."

She is, and so are they all.

Monday, July 09, 2007

Leavin' on a Jet Plane

All my bags are packed
I'm ready to go
The dogs are waiting
by the door
I hate to have to tell them both goodbye

But the time is passing
I have to leave
and even if
the puppies grieve
I have to catch the bus
or miss the plane

So please say "Wroo wroo" to me
Tell me you'll all be okay
Tell your dad to feed the cats each day

I'm leaving on a jet plane
You know that I'll be back again
Don't give me tears of woe...

Off to Hotlanta! Look for reports later!!


Saturday, June 23, 2007

Still Talking about Cake

This morning I had a piece in the local paper telling the story of the Grace Cake. I hope you'll go there and read it, as it belongs to the paper for 30 days before it can be reprinted elsewhere.

My e-mail is included at the end of the reflections column, and sometimes I do get mail from readers. This morning I got a request for the cake recipe! I linked to Quotidian Grace's original post the other day, but since I can't post the column here, I thought I might' post the recipe instead.

Meanwhile, there is one small piece remaining. When The Princess got ready to go to her father's house yesterday, she whined that it would likely be gone before she came back today. I told her to wrap it up and put it in the refrigerator in a place it would not likely be found. She did the former, but apparently did not succeed at the latter, since I had to snatch it nearly from the jaws of Pure Luck this morning. It's that good.

Grace Cake

AKA

Texas

Chocolate Sheet Cake

Bring to a boil in a pan:
1 stick margarine
1/2 cup solid butter-flavor shortening
4 tablespoons Hershey's cocoa

Set aside to cool.

Sift together in a large bowl:
2 cups flour
2 cups sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
Pour chocolate mixture over the flour/sugar mixture

Add:
2 well-beaten eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 cup buttermilk that has 1 teaspoon baking soda dissolved in it.

Mix well and pour into greased 9x 13 pan.
Bake in preheated oven at 350 degrees for 25 minutes. Do not overbake! The cake continues cooking after it is removed from the oven.
Ice the cake as soon as it comes out of the oven.

Icing:
Bring to a boil in a saucepan --
1 stick margarine
6 tablespoons milk
4 tablespoons Hershey's cocoa

1 tsp vanilla

1 box confectioner’s sugar

Stir continuously until mixture thickens. Then remove from heat and add 1 teaspoon vanilla, the box of powdered sugar and (1 1/2 cups chopped pecans—optional).

Pour hot icing over the cake and let it cool. This cake can be made ahead because it is actually better the next day! We love it with really good vanilla ice cream.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Texas Sheet Cake


  Texas Sheet Cake 
  Originally uploaded by msongbird.

It's more than a cake, really.

I got the recipe from my friend, Jody, at Quotidian Grace. And as I said I planned to do in the comments on her blog almost two years ago, I did make one to take to a Stewardship Dinner the following weekend. But the meaning changed when I read about St. Casserole's preparations for Hurricane Dennis. As she waited to see if the storm would really hit, I (and others) prayed for her in our far-flung churches, even though we didn't know her real name. Cassie and her family, I said to my congregation, we must pray for them today as they await the arrival of a hurricane. I felt a kinship, a sisterhood, I could not quite explain. That storm, though it would be nothing compared to the rage of Hurricane Katrina later in the summer, represents the first time I felt a deep, deep concern over a blogging friend, a person who existed for me only on the Internet, under an assumed name, in a general region of the United States.

Ten days later, St. Casserole asked a significant question, and suddenly a loosely connected group of bloggers coalesced and became RevGalBlogPals.

When The Princess asked for a Texas Sheet Cake for this birthday, I obliged happily.

Friday, May 25, 2007

A New Friend

Make new friends, but keep the old,
One is silver and the other's gold.

One of my tasks on behalf of RevGalBlogPals is to check the blogs of new applicants to the webring. Some need help adding html code, and others apply but never add the code or respond to offers to help. Some do it all themselves and are such a clear fit for our ring definition that I simply click on the button that makes their membership official.

As is true everywhere in life, some seem like perfectly nice Gals and/or Pals who I am happy to welcome. But there are others with whom I seem to "click" instantly. Something in their stories sounds familiar, or so different it's intriguing, and I want to go back and get to know them better. It doesn't become a connection unless that feeling goes both ways, and as many of our new bloggers are, well, new bloggers, they may not yet have learned that visiting back and forth and leaving comments is part of developing blogger relationships.

Recently I've met someone through the ring who you may have noticed has left some comments here, RevRosa. Rosa is having surgery this morning, and I hope you will think about going over to her blog to leave good thoughts, wishes and prayers.

Rosa is one of a number of adoptive moms, both in RevGalBlogPals and not, who have become my online friends. In the past month or so, I have begun to feel the depth and breadth of healing of some old wounds related to my own mother and the way my adoption affected the mother-daughter relationship. I am grateful to all these friends, and to the spirit woven through the connections made with St. Casserole, Preacher Mom, Lisa V, Susan, Alex and others who may not even know I'm reading their stories.

This morning I'm thankful for friends, new and old and in-between.

A circle is round, it has no end.
That's how long I want to be your friend.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

In the Net

(It was a great privilege to preach this afternoon at the Installation of a RevGalBlogPal, Pastor Peters. The text was John 21:1-6, and we also heard the poem Fish R Us by Mark Doty, quoted briefly below.)

My father’s Uncle Jew lived in Chincoteague, Virginia, that shrine to wild ponies, a place I loved to visit when I was a little girl. Jew, whose real name was Eugene, started out in life as a noteworthy scamp about town. This Methodist bad boy earned his politically incorrect nickname when he told the headmaster of his school that he couldn’t work off his demerits on Saturday, because he had to go to synagogue. He went on to be a shell-shocked veteran of World War I, who spent most of the 1920’s and ‘30’s living at his mother’s house in an alcoholic haze. But somewhere around the beginning of World War II, when he saw my father grow up and join the military himself, Uncle Jew began a new life. He moved from our hometown of Portsmouth, Virginia, to Chincoteague, married a widow well-established in his new community, and, most importantly, he stopped drinking. By the time I came along, he was a community leader in his new town, a happy, retired gent who knew everybody and understood how to make a visit the most fun possible for a little girl.

One summer we went to a carnival, and Uncle Jew saw me eying a pair of goldfish for sale. I remember moonlight, and an exciting sense of something unpredictable and wonderful about to occur. He insisted on buying them for me, although my parents really had no interest in bringing them home. But you didn’t say “no” to Uncle Jew anymore than you said “no” to Aunt Laurie when she insisted on taking the children to see Santa Claus, a great offense against my mother’s sensibilities.

And so we rode home in our great big 1960’s station wagon, the bag with the goldfish in it held carefully for fear of spilling. The fish came to live in a bowl on our mantelpiece. One was black, and one was gold, and I named them Blackie and Goldie.

Now, this isn’t really a story about me or even a story about Blackie and Goldie, who went on to meet the usual belly-up fate of the average household goldfish. It is a story about Uncle Jew, and the hope we all have of being resurrected, of having our broken hopes restored, of suddenly realizing our net is amazingly full of fish.

Fishingnetscrop_2 This Resurrection appearance story, full of elements of stories found in other places and no doubt cobbled together to get one more redactor’s word into John’s gospel, is enormously attractive. Its beginning is so human. It sits in the gospel after the Thomas story, with the Christ who walks through walls, and yet it speaks of the discouragement we all feel when the spiritual high passes and we have to go back to living. Peter decides to go fishing, and his mates follow along with him, perhaps because they don’t quite know what else to do.

On the Gulf Coast of Mississippi, when I visited after Hurricane Katrina, I saw a sepia-toned picture of a man who worked for my host’s family, many years before, as a fisherman. The 1947 hurricane, back in the day before they had names, devastated the fishing community in Gulfport and Biloxi. The day after the storm my host’s father went to see what was left of his boats, and he found Mr. Papadopoulis already there, mending the nets, ready to go back to his work.

So, too, do Peter and his friends return to familiar waters, literally, and to well-worn modes of being. They strip for work and wait for the fish.

And they wait. And they wait. And they wait. And morning comes, and they are still waiting.

Anyone who has ever looked for something they really wanted understands how they must have felt. They don’t know what we know: in just a few verses they will be having one of the best ever “Come to Jesus” moments, eating a breakfast prepared by his own hands.

Meanwhile, down in the water, something else is happening. A perfectly happy population of fish has been going about its nightly fish business, all its members congratulating themselves on avoiding the net.

We may identify with the disciples, but we have also been the fish, caught by surprise, glassy-eyed at the shock of becoming part of some new and overwhelming phase of our lives.

We have been the fish,
shoulder to shoulder

a million of them,
a billion incipient citizens
of a goldfish Beijing,
a Sao Paulo,
a Mexico City.

When I was very little, I did errands with my daddy every Saturday morning. I loved to stop at the bakery, but each time we finished that visit, I felt the dread of going across the street to the fish market, where I was always shocked at the sight of the fish laid out on the ice, one terrible eye staring at me. I thought of Blackie and Goldie at home in their bowl, swimming peacefully and going nowhere.

But these fish had come from the wild water, caught in the net.

On that day long ago, no one stopped to check with the fish. No one screened them to see if they were spot or trout or flounder or salmon or striped bass or red snapper. No one sought to discover their backgrounds or their orientations, their income levels or their marital status. As shocking as it must be to find oneself in the net, it would be that much more shocking as the church to really and truly form our community so randomly, so grace-fully.

And if we think of it that way, perhaps the wild water of a spiritual journey may seem preferable to the calm of the fish bowl.

If *we* are the fish, the metaphor does not end in the net with death. In the net begins our resurrection, our re-creation, our birth into something entirely new, the startling shock at baptism. Those of us who have been ordained likely felt it in the laying on of hands, the weight of all the others pressed against us in a holy moment outside normal reality. All who participate, placing our hands in a gesture of faith and humility and strange exhilaration, are among the fish in the net.

Today we welcome Pastor Peters into our particular net, the bonds of covenant that characterize the relationships of churches and clergy forming the ____  Association. In that mystical and mysterious process by which churches and pastors find one another, Pastor Peters found herself scooped out of the water of her past, pulled into this net, a Fish From Away who is already one of us. From our first meeting her maturity, insight and sense of humor have been a gift to me, and I am grateful to this church for casting the net and bringing her into our midst.

Jesus said to them, "Children, you have no fish, have you?" They answered him, "No."
He said to them, "Cast the net to the right side of the boat, and you will find some." So they cast it, and now they were not able to haul it in because there were so many fish.

(John 21:5-6, NRSV )

There is grace in listening to the voice of God and making a change that gives hope, but there is also grace in being swept along, being caught up in an experience bigger than we will ever be. In the net, we find overwhelming abundance, in Christ and in one another. We are God’s fish, and it is good to be in the net together. Amen.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Friday Five: Big Event Edition

Did you know that the major purpose for forming a non-profit, RevGalBlogPals, Inc., was to be able to attract grant support for a large scale RevGalBlogPal meetup? My dream from the beginning has been attracting financial support that would allow as many of our bloggers to be together as possible.

RGBP, Inc. now has a planning committee, and we are in the early stages of planning the RevGalBlogPal Big Event. What, When, Where and Who are all on the table at the moment. In that spirit, I bring you the Big Event Friday Five.

1. What would the meeting be like? (Continuing Ed? Retreat? Outside Speakers? Interest Groups? Workshops? Hot Stone Massages? Pedicures? Glorified Slumber Party?)

My ideal gathering would have some mixture of fellowship (or galship, as the case may be) and spiritual renewal. I love the idea of breaking out into interest groups or something along those lines, say one for aspiring poets and another for parents of small children juggling work and family and another for knitters, or you name it. And I would not turn down a massage or even a pedicure.

2. When in 2008 might you be able to attend? January? Shortly after Easter? Summer? Fall? Some other time?

I'm hoping for spring, particularly that long stretch of April in a year with a very early Easter.

3. Where would your dream meeting location be? (Urban Hotel? Rural Retreat Center? New England Camp? Southwestern Fantasy Hotel? Far away from civilization? Nearby Outlets or Really Great Thrift Stores?)

I am completely open-minded about the where. I don't spend enough time outdoors when I'm working, so I guess a beautiful and non-urban location would be good for my answer to #1.

4. Who would make a great keynote speaker? (That's if #1 leads us in that direction.)

I guess I'm more interested in giving our bloggers a chance to be together than in hiring a "headliner." But if I could listen to a favorite writer speak about writing your life, it would be Anne LaMott.

5. Did I leave out something you want to suggest?

I'm wide open to the suggestions of others at this point. If you're a RevGalBlogPal but don't play the Friday Five, feel free to leave ideas here.

Dream big for the Big Event!!!

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Busy Signal

Cheesewedge_350It's not that I've forgotten about you, bloggy friends.

It's just that I'm very busy entertaining Cheesehead.

(In case you were wondering, all her accessories are really pretty, and she smells amazing, too, not like cheese at all.)

If anyone wants to send her a hug, be sure and leave a message here.

Monday, August 08, 2005

One is Silver and the Other's Gold

Make new friends, but keep the old...

We are Homeward Bound and Technologically Challenged, which is to say the wireless has been spotty at my friend's house the past two days.

On Sunday night, The Princess and I had our much-anticipated blogger meet-up with the ReverendMother family, including her husband, R, and her daughter, C. We navigated the complex routes of the extended suburbs of an unspecified urban area and found our way to an impressive and up-to-date shopping/living/eating sort of thing that I don't know how to describe except to say that malls are apparently now modeled on some sort of village concept. The buildings and surroundings were very attractive, but the entire package made me feel like some sort of hick who just doesn't know what's happening in the "real" world.

But what you really want to know is what RM is like, right?

What you read is really what you get. She is bright, strong, appealing, inquisitive and reflective. She is also gracious, open and warm. R was incredibly patient with our shop talk, and so was C! C is adorable, beautiful, charming, delightful, engaging--wow, this alphabet thing is addictive, isn't it? But the child really lives up to her press.

Nearly two-and-a-half hours sped by in their company. I hope this is the first of many such meetings.

I've also had the chance to spend time with an old friend, and tonight we had dinner with another college pal. We're in our mid-forties now, talking about the 25th college reunion that is only two years away, laughing about how College Friend's oldest daughter used CF's cellphone to send a text message to her dad at work; he knew what it was but not how to respond to it!

It's odd. My career is still so new, and my marriage is also new, and when I am at home I feel the whole world lies before me. But in these places, with these old friends, I realize how much has gone by me. We discussed changes in accepted punctuation and laughed ruefully at the idea that we can no longer write "Jesus' disciples" but must rather write "Jesus's disciples." We hates it. We hates it. When did commas go out of fashion, we wondered? And where did twenty years go?

We puzzled about those friends we don't hear from anymore. We worried about those whose lives are not as rich or fulfilling or safe as ours.

But I look at College Friend and College Pal and I know the hard things they have lived: husbands laid off or let go, child with autism, pregnancies lost, divorce (that one's mine), young niece killed in car accident, sister dead of cancer. We've buried five of our six parents. Life has touched us, left marks on us, some visible, some more subtle. We have all struggled with our weight. We have all worried for our children and at the same time delighted in them.

We're all church people. That's the thing that strikes me funniest, because we met in college, that time when we don't always dock in the familiar places, and so our friends don't necessarily know what our faith lives mean to us. Some times we don't know ourselves.

We sat around the table, wives and mothers and writers and sisters. It was different than meeting Reverend Mother, with whom I talked about 100 miles per hour, I fear--there was such a need to cram things in, sort of like a first sermon. (If you've ever preached one or heard one, you will know what I mean.) This was more leisurely. Two hours or so spent, with the knowledge that it will be years before such an occasion comes again. It felt wide, but not deep, as I never feel sure how real I can be with them.

What I want in my life is more moments of authenticity. I live for them, for finding them and for opening the way for them. Life is too short not to live that way, to censor ourselves and live carefully, to avoid what is real.

I'm glad to have seen old friends, but, O God! I am thankful for new ones! I am thankful for comrades who think long and worriedly about things that never will be and things that might just happen. I am thankful for intensity and humor and energy. I am thankful that even if I am a bit out of date I am not yet old. I am thankful that there is more light and truth to break forth not just from God's word but from the story of my life and from all of yours.

A circle is round, it has no end. That's how long I want to be your friend.

Monday, July 25, 2005

RevGalBlogPals

In case you haven't noticed the link in my sidebar, RevGalBlogPals (the Web Ring, that is) also has a blogger home page. There are a couple of threads going there in which we're discussing some possible recipients for a charitable donation generated by sales of RGBG stuff at the CafePress store (linked there in the sidebar).

And to be clear, although there is an ecclesiastical bent to some of the merchandise, the WebRing is not exclusive to clergywomen, or clergy or women, for that matter. It's for RevGals, yes, but also for their Blog Pals. reverendmother was the clever minx who got the store started, with help from Mr. reverendmother. She suggested that we raise the prices by $1 per item; that money will come back to us and be given to a charitable organization.

Reverend Mommy got us signed up for RingSurf and the blog page, and I am her co-administrator of the Ring and the Blog. Aren't we techno-geeky? The best surprise has been finding bloggers I've never heard of before who want to join, and hearing their stories via their blogs.

I remember sitting down to blog for the first time and wondering who would ever read it, and how I would ever find a blog I wanted to read myself! I am grateful for a community that will respond whether I am writing about serious events in my past, an annoying drive on a hot day, or my quandary about hair color (I've decided to sleep on it.).

Bless you all!

Saturday, July 23, 2005

More on the RevGalBlogPals

Reverend Mommy kindly set up a blog homepage for the new RevGalBlogPals webring. I'm playing around with it and would welcome your feedback there. A Blogroll is on the way!

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Web Rings

I am thinking that the RevGalBlogPals need a Web Ring. I just joined Web Ring, but since I'm not *in* a Web Ring yet, I can't start one. Any pals out there who are in some kind of Web Ring already? Your help and advice would be greatly appreciated. Believe me, there's nothing quite like us currently out there.

RevGalBlogPals