Set Free: Wedding Ceremony

Wedding Ceremony for Don and Martha

September 20, 2002
Rev. Leaf Seligman

Mount Chocorua, New Hampshire

Gathering Song And Flower Petal Strewing

Lucy: "Make New Friends"

Make New Friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other's gold.
A circle is round, it has no end. That's how long I want to be your friend.

Opening Words

Leaf:
We gather atop this mountain, humbled by its beauty, its duration, its ability to withstand great pressure and change. Let us feel the earth beneath our feet for this is holy ground. We stand in the belly of sacred sky. What better place to gather for the joining of your lives. Don and Martha, Edward, Peter and Lucy, the five of you have hiked up here today to honor and commit to new bonds of family. The climb serves as a reminder that life's journey is both breathtaking and challenging and that love can be as craggy and enduring as stone.
Martha and Don, you have reached this moment with great intention. From the long months of the Appalachian Trail to the upcoming ordination, you have offered each other your love and support. You have demonstrated understanding and respect for each other's deepest callings, and by doing so, forged a foundation for this marriage as solid as the rock upon which we gather. As you anticipate the joy ahead, may you remember to inhabit the present moment, for it is this moment which calls us to love.

Lucy, Peter, and Edward, because your mother and Don are making this commitment, your lives have already changed. The shape of your family has new contours. May you feel the blessing of these changes and recognize the gifts. May all five of you bear in mind that laughter and whimsy are holy endeavors; patience and forgiveness, courageous acts. May each of you grow stronger and sturdier in this love and new constellation of family.

Readings

Peter Peter: From The Little Prince By Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

And he went back to meet the fox.

Goodbye, he said.

Goodbye, said the fox. And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.

What is essential is invisible to the eye, the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important.

It is the time I have wasted for my rose--- said the little prince, so that he would be sure to remember.

Men have forgotten this truth, said the fox. But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose.

I am responsible for my rose, the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

Edward Edward: Sonnet CXVI by William Shakespeare

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Martha: Song of Solomon 2:8-13,16 and 8:6-7a

8 The voice of my beloved!
      Look, he comes,
   leaping upon the mountains,
      bounding over the hills.
9 My beloved is like a gazelle
      or a young stag.
   Look, there he stands
      behind our wall,
   gazing in at the windows,
      looking through the lattice.
10 My beloved speaks and says to me:
   "Arise, my love, my fair one,
      and come away;
11 for now the winter is past,
      the rain is over and gone.
12 The flowers appear on the earth;
      the time of singing has come,
   and the voice of the turtledove
      is heard in our land.
13 The fig tree puts forth its figs,
      and the vines are in blossom;
      they give forth fragrance.
   Arise, my love, my fair one,
      and come away.”
16 My beloved is mine and I am his;
      he pastures his flock among the lilies.

8 Set me as a seal upon your heart,
      as a seal upon your arm;
   for love is strong as death,
      passion fierce as the grave.
   Its flashes are flashes of fire,
      a raging flame.
7 Many waters cannot quench love,
      neither can floods drown it.

Don: From "Song of the Open Road" by Walt Whitman

Listen! I will be honest with you,
I do not offer the old smooth prizes, but offer rough new prizes,
These are the days that must happen to you:
You shall not heap up what is call'd riches,
You shall scatter with lavish hand all that you earn or achieve,
You but arrive at the city to which you were destin'd, you hardly
settle yourself to satisfaction before you are call'd by an
irresistible call to depart,
You shall be treated to the ironical smiles and mockings of those
who remain behind you,
What beckonings of love you receive you shall only answer with
passionate kisses of parting,
You shall not allow the hold of those who spread their reach'd hands
toward you.

Allons! the road is before us!
It is safe- I have tried it- my own feet have tried it well- be not
detain'd!

Camerado, I give you my hand!
I give you my love more precious than money,
I give you myself before preaching or law;
Will you give me yourself? will you come travel with me?
Shall we stick by each other as long as we live?

Promises to and from the Children

Leaf: Edward, Peter and Lucy, Don has been part of your home and your lives, but today all of you are taking a new step and becoming a family as he marries your mother. Will you support Don and your mom with love, letting them know when you need their help and trusting them to guide you along the way?

Edward, Peter and Lucy: We will.

Leaf: Don and Martha, will you promise to care for Edward, Peter and Lucy, making their home a place of freedom to be who they are meant to be, a haven from the world, and a place where concerns and difficulties will be heard receptively and gently?

Don and Martha: We will.

Vows
I, Don, choose you, Martha, to be my wife; to share my life openly with you; to speak truthfully and lovingly to you; to accept you as you are and delight in who you are becoming; to respect your uniqueness and encourage your fulfillment; to trust you and respect you; to forgive you and be forgiven by you. I will love you faithfully in good times and bad, when we are together and we are apart, through all the changes of our years together.

I, Martha, choose you, Don, to be my husband; to share my life openly with you; to speak truthfully and lovingly to you; to accept you as you are and delight in who you are becoming; to respect your uniqueness and encourage your fulfillment; to trust you and respect you; to forgive you and be forgiven by you. I will love you faithfully in good times and bad, when we are together and we are apart, through all the changes of our years together.

Ring Ceremony

Leaf: Now that you have pledged your commitment to each other, may the rings you now exchange symbolize the wholeness and unending circle of your love.

"This ring is round and hath no end; so is my love unto my friend."

Declaration

Blessing

Leaf: Great Mother Earth, we who are of you, give thanks for this love, for this moment, for the possibility that fills our horizon. We ask to live right-sized, to recognize and honor all the beings upon whom we depend. Let us remain mindful each day of our inter-being with all Creation.

Martha and Don, you ascended this mountain as two people in love. You will descend as partners joined by the bonds of matrimony.

Closing: Apache Song