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Ministry

Friday, June 13, 2008

Molly and Ministry

(I read about the Animal Blogging Project, sponsored by High Calling Blogs, at Real Live Preacher.)

Once upon a time in Virginia, there was a little girl who was afraid of dogs. A cousin’s collie jumped up on her, and another cousin’s Golden Retriever puppy nipped at her, and two big dogs came running into her yard and chased her, and—well, you get the picture. I didn’t get off to a good start with dogs, at all.

Meanwhile, I grew up with cats, or rather with one cat at a time. The first was a birthday present from a friend in the neighborhood. I think my mother would have gladly sent the kitten right back again, but the sight of my excitement prevailed and we kept him. He grew into a fine big fellow, so tough that the neighborhood dogs, who still frightened me, would not come into our yard for fear of a right cross from the cat’s paw!

The first breakthrough happened with an aging Golden Retriever who nuzzled me with his graying muzzle. I realize now he must have been that same heel-nipper who tried to climb up the playset after me so many years before. Gentle and slow-moving, he had retired from his work as a hunting companion and spent his days holding down a rug, waiting for “his” children to come home from school.

But it would be many years until I really made friends with a dog, a chocolate lab named Russell Stover. Russell is such a good boy that he made all our family want to have a dog of our own.

At the time, I was commuting to Andover Newton, staying out of town one night a week. I told the children we could get a puppy when I graduated, since it would be too difficult to manage before that time and not fair to the dog. I thought I knew what having a dog would be like, but I really didn’t.

Snowman, who was 10 or 11, asked what kind of dog we would get. From the time I got over my fear of dogs, I always imagined myself with a Golden Retriever, but now we loved Labs, too. Snowman was not satisfied with either choice. He had a feeling there was another kind of dog out there for us. I got him a book of dog breeds and he began to study.

We brainstormed a list of qualities that mattered to us:

  •     Good with children
  •     Good with other pets
  •     Big enough not to be intimidated by the cats
  •     Doesn’t need a huge amount of exercise (in other words, not a herding dog!)
  •     Low maintenance on the grooming
  •     Not inclined to bark all the time


Pure Luck, who was very much involved in our lives by this time, but not actually a family member yet, became part of the conversation and suggested some of these. Unfortunately, the barking prohibition ruled out his favorite breed, according to our book.

One day, Snowman came to me and said, “I found our dog!”

He showed me an adorable picture of a puppy that looked more like a stuffed animal than a real dog.

“Look, mom! These dogs have everything we want! They’re big! They aren’t barkers! They love kids and other animals! They don’t need lots of exercise!”

“That’s great, honey,” I answered. “But I’ve never laid eyes on a Bernese Mountain Dog!”

Fall and Winter 02-03 035 Before too long, we had just such a puppy snuggled up among us. She seemed so much like a baby that Pure Luck and I decided we had to get married and raise her together!

By the time she was six months old or so, Molly began to limp. We took her to the vet, but everyone thought she had soft-tissue injuries of one sort and another. By eight months, it was bad enough that we took a series of x-rays and discovered to our great sorrow that she had very bad joints, a risk for Bernese Mountain Dogs. Suddenly, I needed to learn a lot more about the breed!

We took care of Molly through two surgeries, one on a hip and the other for her elbows. Pure Luck patiently rehabbed her with short walks that gradually increased in length. He carried her then 75 pound self up and down stairs until we were able to get a ramp for our back steps. Although the surgeries helped some of her most severe symptoms, nothing can take away the arthritis that had already developed in her left hip and both elbows.

Meanwhile, I was reading up on the breed, and I found an e-mail group for people who love Bernese Mountain Dogs. My primary interest was orthopedic problems and how to deal with them.

But something else grabbed my interest as Molly recovered and began to get out and socialize again at the beach and the dog park. Someone asked, “Have you considered using Molly for therapy work?”

I remembered e-mails about therapy dogs, and I went back to do some research. We got Molly into an obedience class and later she took and passed the Canine Good Citizen test sponsored by the American Kennel Club.

I discovered at least three national organizations that certify dogs for Therapy work:


Each has a different way of evaluating a dog to see if he or she is suited to therapy work.

It’s not service work, of course, such as a seeing-eye dog might do. And it’s not assistance work, either, in which a dog is trained to help with certain tasks or to be aware of certain symptoms in an owner who has a seizure disorder or diabetes.

A therapy dog’s job is to make you feel good.

We spent three Wednesday afternoons at a nursing home for Molly’s evaluation. On the first day we met the evaluator outside the nursing home and Molly passed a basic obedience quiz in the parking lot. She always seems to know when she is “on duty,” and she did all the tasks patiently, responsively and thoroughly. I had to show that she would sit and lie down, walk with me nicely, heel with a loose leash and greet a stranger in a friendly fashion. She had to do the same with the evaluator’s dog, although not be TOO friendly. This was not playtime!

We then spent an hour inside the nursing home, following the evaluator and her dog, to see how Molly would respond to different situations.

She did well on each of her three visits and passed the test!

We went through the process although I knew that since I hoped Molly would be a partner in my ministry, her work with me wouldn’t count as “therapy” work, which has to be done by a volunteer. The purpose for joining the different organizations is to acquire insurance for the volunteer who owns the pet. Since I bring Molly into the work environment, I would be personally liable for any damage she might cause, not Therapy Dogs, Inc, nor the church where I work. But I wanted my church folks to know that she had been evaluated by an established program and been deemed an appropriate dog for therapy work.

Molly’s work as a ministry dog has taken several forms.

First, she went with me to visit people in nursing homes or in their own homes, if invited. I’ve found that people enjoy seeing her; for the very elderly, she brings back memories of their own beloved pets and because she is good-sized, she is fairly easy to pet from a bed or a wheelchair. When I plan to take her to a nursing home or other care facility, I always call ahead to be sure she is welcome and to be sure I have the correct paperwork available. Usually I am asked only for verification of a rabies shot. Molly is happy to visit lots of people at once, but I try to keep nursing home visits short because the temperature in them is usually uncomfortably warm for her.

Second, I sometimes bring Molly to the office with me. At Small Church, she was a frequent visitor to the Nursery School, where she could sometimes be seen lying on the rug in the middle of a pile of 3 and 4 year olds. I have seldom known an animal as patient as she is.

Third, Molly participated in church events where possible. She often came along to Youth Group gatherings, and for the past three years she joined the church’s intergenerational caroling group in visiting area nursing homes. Wroo wroo all the way!

Finally, and this is Molly’s personal favorite part of her ministry, Molly came to church on many, many Sundays. It started with a Children’s Message, just before she took the Canine Good Citizen test. Pure Luck brought her to church and waited in the vestibule. When she heard me giving the Call to Worship, she called right back! That was a brief appearance. She showed off her tricks, and I talked to the children about the element of the test called “Reaction to Distraction.” I thought it tied in well to the text for the week and drew a comparison about how easily we get distracted from paying attention to God.

Her regular church attendance started a few months later, on one of those low Sundays: the 26th of December. I knew good and well attendance would be slim, and I decided that anyone who came to church on that day deserved a handshake from Molly. We stood at the door together and greeted each person who came in; then she sat in a pew with my family during worship. She was so delighted to be with people, but so quiet and good during the service, that we took another risk on a three-day weekend, and then another when it was snowy, and soon people were asking where she was each week! The church member who keeps track of attendance began recording her as a member of my family.

Molly loved going to Main Street Church, too. She didn’t know it was a church, of course, but she probably felt the long aisles with pews on each side were familiar in some way. She would enter the Sanctuary with me at the Chancel end and run to the front door, because of course that’s where you greet people, isn’t it? She’s only been to our new church once on a Sunday, but she immediately recognized the feeling of community, and she sang along with the choir, too! (Always in tune.) At the Word for the Young, she was part of a skit about what it means to say, “All are Welcome!”

Headshot small Molly loves church for the fellowship. It’s her work, and it’s her therapy, too. No matter how lame or stiff she might be feeling, she loves to get in the car and go see people. In the past year or so, as her arthritis worsened, and it made me all the more willing to bring her along and share her love with others for however long she is with us.

I think back to the day we picked her up, and how she squalled in the back seat of the car in Snowman’s arms, crying for the brothers and sisters she had left behind. It didn’t take her long to find her place with us, to learn not only that we could be her family, but that the world is her family, too.

Molly changed the way I approach ministry by teaching me to take myself less seriously and by reminding me that the most important thing we do in church is make sure everyone is greeted and no one feels alone. I’m thankful to know her.

Molly invites you to read her blog, where she has a new post up!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

The purposes of the heart

"The Lord...will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart." (A sliver of 1 Corinthians 4:5, NRSV)

While feeling less than vibrant, I've been pondering what in the world my condition, my ailment, my diagnosis may have on my future in ministry. Certainly the capacity to turn words around in my mind and see them find form on paper, to examine my daily life and bring it into conversation with the texts I encounter (scripture, literature, the arts, family life, pop culture, dog walking and so forth), seems not to abate.

I honestly don't look at this as a deliberate act on the part of a Divine Teacher trying to lay a particular lesson on me. I can't say that enough, though one pal declares this will be on her "WTF?" list when she gets to heaven.

(Yes, that was supposed to be funny. Please be laughing.)

(Okay. The next part is serious.)

On a spring morning in 1992, I had a conversation with a friend who had lost a baby years before, as she offered her sympathy for my more recent loss.

"Do you think God lets these things happen to teach us something?" Her baby had died at birth, the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck.

"No!" I replied emphatically, thinking more of her story than of mine. And then I thought for a moment and said, more slowly, "But I guess if we *can* learn something from the experience, that's good."


I've done a lot of working out of my theology at the back doors of other people's houses, while pushing a cart through the aisles of a grocery store, while picking up dropped stitches or winding stubborn balls of yarn. There has been no ivory tower, just a mother racing from one state to another to study, then parent, then write, then parent, then race around and start it all over again. I look back at my years in seminary and cannot imagine how I kept all the pieces of my life going. It took determination and energy, yes, but it also took faith that at some point the purposes of the heart, the purpose of my life, would be revealed. I believed that there was some way I could serve, even though my classmates' jaws tended to drop when they heard I was the single mother of THREE young children. I was a category unto myself.

If you followed me here from my other blog, you'll know that I've been in discernment, along with others, about planting new UCC churches in the Conference where I live, and about being one of the church planters myself. My friend Kathryn tells me that in the Church of England they would call that being a Pioneer Minister. I love that! I want to pioneer, to go to new places and do things in new ways. It's appealing.

It's also "now hidden in darkness" and waiting to be brought into the light.

Of course that's true for the future all of us face. In our churches or our families, whether or not we consider ourselves to be in any sort of dramatic transition, there is always something around the corner, some new leading, some new understanding just waiting to be illuminated.

I think the most uncomfortable place is the one where we know the moment of knowledge is close by, but don't have any idea what the answer will be. The Princess and I had just squealed our amazement at David Cook's victory over the other David when the phone rang. It was late, and I was surprised to see Snowman's number on the Called ID. He called from school, feeling anxious. At noon he will learn who his new teacher will be, and the anticipation he felt on the night before the big day felt almost unbearable.

I'm an old hand when it comes to anxiety. I've had the spinning thoughts (yes, I'm thinking of the lilies from a different angle here), and I've trained myself to review them, one at a time, to determine whether they were real worries, and whether I could do anything about them right now, and figured out a way to lay them aside for morning, when they often seem less enormous. And I've also felt the more primal panic, the feeling of my chest caving in with the weight of worry, an undifferentiated panic that responds to only one thing: breathing.

We breathed together on the phone, a new development in long-distance parenting.

He will know more soon; I may not know more for weeks or months; and in fact it may be years before I look back on this spring of 2008 and say, "Oh! Here is what I learned in the midst of gathering information and noticing symptoms and making accommodations and resisting limitations. Here is what that time revealed about me, about the people around me, about God's place in my life."

I don't look to a return of the Lord such as Paul expected when he wrote to the church at Corinth. He expected that return in his own lifetime! We live on the edge and at the same time in the midst of a long road with no apparent end, don't we? A Reform Rabbi explained to a group of seminarians, including me, that his tradition believed it was up to us to bring in the Messianic age, through our efforts to make the world more like the Kingdom of God we seek. And I don't think he simply meant good works; I know he didn't. He meant we needed a change of understanding. Instead of waiting endlessly, we need to participate.

The inner life of faith is not passive, not merely receptive. It is a life of
of living where we are and not where we were, of looking down the spiritual road, of taking the next steps, of preparing for the future, whatever it may bring into the light, whatever it may reveal about the purposes of the heart.

Friday, May 09, 2008

Change or Die?

Do you watch Lost? Sometimes after an episode airs, I read the comments on Television Without Pity. This is often a mistake, because the thick-headedness of some commenters raises my blood pressure. But many times someone posts a link to a fascinating screen cap, or has a better idea of what a character said than I did, so back I go.

This was one of the thick weeks. One of the worst tendencies of the group was in evidence: all the male,  African-American actors look alike.

Except that they do not.

When I complain about this to my sons, they say, rather reasonably, "Stop reading it!"

But I want those links, see above.

It's much the same with politics. The current debate, which has had its elements of misogyny, has now progressed to a not-so-thinly-veiled racism that offends and disturbs me.

Yesterday, Senator Clinton cited an Associated Press report "that found how Sen. Obama's support among working, hardworking Americans, white Americans, is weakening again, and how whites in both states who had not completed college were supporting me."

Um.

Yes. All white people who did not go to college think alike, and all white people who went to college and don't support Senator Clinton are, what? Shiftless?

After listening to the press and talking heads and politicians pillory Rev. Dr. Wright, I want to know how we can say this race is more about misogyny than racism.

Really, it's about a paradigm shift. It's about a move from an old way of thinking to a new way of thinking that makes the generation gap of the 1960's look like a crack in the sidewalk. And it's not about age, clearly. It's about a desire to look at the world through a different lens, one that isn't about old allegiances or practices. It's a new way that leaves out those who insist on being left behind.

I guess I'm talking about church now, too. When "everyone" went to church, when in the post WWII paradigm, the Leave it to Beaver era, we could support numerous institutions and indulge in our Edifice Complex, we could be separatist without anyone drawing attention to it. Women played certain roles in churches; cultural groups had their own parishes. In my small city, there were Catholic churches "known" as Polish, French, Irish and Italian, and all those on the peninsula, relatively close together.

My Cousin Jack famously wrote the book, Why Christianity Must Change or Die, and I am right there with him. We can't live this way anymore. Push is coming to shove. The life of faith, and the life of the body politic, must transcend boundaries of ethnicity, gender and orientation. I believe it's the life to which the Divine Source of All Love calls us.

But if I really believe that, I can't be satisfied with saying, "Let those who disagree go home." On the ground, in a smaller church, I am trying to find a way to live it that includes everyone, that makes no assumption that people who vaguely resemble each other are the same, or that only a certain group works hard, or that I know everything about any of them.

The hard part is this: we in churches feel the general tension of the economy, heating prices, expense of health insurance, but we also grapple with an end to the culture's "protection" of Sunday morning, the declining availability of organists, the aging out of the generation that put all church events first and a demand that the things we do be not just convivial but meaningful. We don't know what it looks like. We hear stories, we LIVE stories of failures to graft the new branch onto the old tree.

I don't really understand grafting very well. But I know it's possible on trees and plants. Surely it must be possible for churches, too. I think we need to try before we cut down all the trees and start again.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

At the Areopagus

Areopagus(Easter 6A    Acts 17:22-31)

I have a little secret.

Even though I usually declare I don't much care for Paul, I love the story of his speech at the Areopagus.

Our hero, because he really is our hero in the Acts of the Apostles, takes what is in front of him, which is to say the worship of an Unknown God by the Athenians, and forms an argument to sway them to believing in his God.

He doesn't just slam in and tell them they are idiots. He shows some knowledge of the context. He meets the people where they are. He develops his argument organically.

How much bad ministry is done by riding into town and trying to overlay an ideal that has no relationship to the reality?

My ministry takes place in a particular time and place, among people with stories and a town with a past. If I took the Gap Outlet across the way as my only touchstone, if I ignored the morning's visit from K in her lovely straw hat and our discussion of the dish towels and pot holders in the church kitchen, if I ignored the construction in town or the slipping of the stained glass windows that may have a relationship to the trucks that travel past on Route One, if I did not observe my surroundings, I would surely miss opportunities to understand who the people of the church are and what work God might be calling us to do together.

So I will watch and listen and hope for the right moment, the moment when I will hope to be as fluid as Paul at the Areopagus.



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Knitting 2008

  • Dishcloth--completed July 4
    Yarn: Sugar n Cream, cannot find the number, but it's yellow, white and bright green Pattern: Garter Slip Stitch, great pattern, but clearly designed for two colors, not what I am using... Needles: Size 7
  • Tunic for The Princess
    Yarn: Freedom Spirit, Twilley's of Stamford, shade 508 Pattern:by the manufacturer, book 455 Needles: Size 6
  • Hat for The Princess--completed July 1
    Yarn: Sandnesgarn's Smart wool in Gryffindor colors (already used for scarf and mittens) Pattern: basic roll brim, Crazy Aunt Purl
  • Socks for me
    Yarn: Koiju KPPPM (the colorway on the far right) purchased at Quarter Stitch in New Orleans, Pattern: traveling lace with eye of partridge heel (my first!), Charlene Schurch's "Sensational Knitted Socks" Needles: Size 2
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